Journey with the Divine Wills : Heaven on Earth: The 7 Divine Wills (Article 6)

I was having some trouble writing this article, because I couldn’t find an ‘angle’ for each of the Divine Wills as I had done before. If you must know, this is already the fifth draft. For the previous attempts to draft this final piece, the energies keep falling off and I couldn’t continue.

Heaven on Earth: The 7 Divine Wills

by Lily Wong 

I was having some trouble writing this article, because I couldn’t find an ‘angle’ for each of the Divine Wills as I had done before. If you must know, this is already the fifth draft. For the previous attempts to draft this final piece, the energies keep falling off and I couldn’t continue.

Through the many rough drafts, I discovered why. I found out that when I started on the Fifth Divine Will, it wasn’t just that Will that was weaving its energy into my life, the first four energies were very much present as well. At the same time, Act, Cause and Express were also going with this flow, never mind if I had already consciously learned about them. At this point, all seven wills were strongly anchored in my life – I couldn’t divide them into neat little articles anymore.

I realized the drafts for this last article wasn’t just about creating a record of my experience or an effort to spread the word about working with our souls. It’s a form of soul therapy, a ‘session’ where I explore what had shifted in my life and also to ‘re-organize’ what I have discovered so I can better make sense of all the things I have experienced. Whereas the previous articles took about three or four days to complete, this one took me about 12 days.

So, here’s the final piece on the Divine Wills. I can say it’s a very guided piece. These days I surround myself with the highest guides whenever I write – one of the rewards of Divine Wills: it connects you strongly with your guides.

With the help of Archangels Metatron and Gabriel, the Great Ones, and my Soul Selves, what was originally a 1000-worder had evolved into something that’s very different from the first four. Instead of focusing on what the Wills do, I move on to what shifted for me for the past two months that I worked with the energies. This is perhaps my most honest, soul-baring article. The fact that I am no longer embarrassed with some things and, wanting to hide them, is an indication that maybe I have moved past them.

Wills as Mythbusters
On my fifth week with the Wills, all seven are in action. The first three (Initiate, Unify and Evolve) set the foundation for the soul to create the highest visions for the Self; while the final three (Act, Cause and Express) become the tools to turn these highest ideals into reality. Connecting both is the fourth one.

The Wills work together to transcend what I call as “Life Myths”. My Life Myths are limiting beliefs, ego-fied thoughts and everything that do not contribute to my highest path.

The "Myths" in my Life that I Had Busted:
1. Myth: One must be useful to deserve a place in the world. To be useful, one must work hard. When one works hard, he/she is worthy to be alive.

In other words, if I am not ‘useful’ to society in any ways, I am basically recyclable and might as well just leave world. Therefore, feeling worthy, or self worth must be earned – through external validations. For me, it was primarily through two things: work and relationships.

My old paradigms went something like: work hard = a good, honorable, useful person. And when that hard work gives me a lot of money; that makes me an even better person. Top that up with successfully ‘catching’ a rich and good-looking husband, that means I am goddess status.

Haha. It’s looks really harsh when I write it down now. It’s even ridiculous – but that was how I had been operating all this time! Chasing after the most lucrative and glamorous career, and the most lucrative and glamorous men too. All for what? Self worth, which is already here in the first place. No wonder at the end of each chase, it was either emptiness or misery. The illusion that self worth (which is an aspect of self love) must be “earned” brought me further away from my truth.

That one limiting belief is the root of most of my ‘issues’. Like how I go on guilt trips when I truly take care of my needs. For instance, slowing down at work for a week; watch all the TV programs I want, go to sleep whenever I want, play whenever I want. I “should” work hard – whether it’s about my job, gym, hobby. I lived and breathed in a “do” environemnt. Veg-ing out was “bad”. Sleeping in was “bad”. Basically, when the mind is not on work, then I am a disappointment to myself and the world.

All this didn’t just start yesterday. Back in school days, my self worth was also based on grades and friends. Getting straight As was life and death. I was “good” when I get good grades. And being popular and accepted in school was also high on my list of priorities. As I didn’t really quite fit in with the social crowd at school, I had learned to put on masks to feel belonged. I suppose those masks had covered my heart so thick that I couldn’t see my Self anymore.

Paradoxically, in all those missions to get approval, there’s a part that was always seeking for my true Self. This side of me made sure I never lost track of who I am. I manifested many situations that made me take off one mask after another – so I can see her, the Inner Self. How can we say we are alone? I have always felt guided ever since I was very young.

But, the quest for self worth and self love is never-ending of course. At least now I can see it from a bigger perspective. Even now, I am still discovering more and more ways to love and honor my Self. Everyday I am shedding more and more of that mask and being the I AM that I am – and I don’t need people to tell me if that’s OK.

Working with the Wills clear up a lot of the fog that surround the truth. Being able to sum a complex situation here in less than 1000 words is evident that I am seeing beyond a layer of illusion.

New Belief System: Self worth and self love exist within. I deserve all the love and light in the Universe. I am worthy. I am deserving.

2. Myth: One is responsible for everyone’s happiness because one owes them.

This twisted belief has its root in the first one. It baffles me now. How in the world do I owe people?

I realized I had been holding the belief that since everything must be ‘earned’ – the social circle is no exception. Since everyone ‘had to’ make space for me in their lives, I ‘owed’ it to them make them happy and comfortable. My ‘responsibility’ to bring everyone happiness is my way of expressing my ‘usefulness’ so I won’t get killed off any social groups – whether they are my family, my classmates or work colleagues.

This belief has created the over-giver, people-pleaser, over-responsible personality. And to complex things even more, I have empath abilities – I am
highly sensitive to emotions of others and could take on their emotions. And because of that, I had taken upon myself to become the mediator for every emotion that I ‘felt’, even when it was absorbed from others. Well, if something felt like mine, I made it mine.

I discovered I could “take” away emotional energy from people. Most of the time, people leave feeling all the much better when they talked to me, or outpoured their feelings. For me, I would carry that emotion for days. I had been a super moody kid all the way because I could be feeling a whole range of emotions all at the same time. My sister and brother have labeled me as the “weather” (haha, go figure).

But knowing I could do that made me felt ‘useful’ and worthy, even when it made my life a constant rollercoaster ride. “Hey I make people feel better!” I felt all important and very responsible for the feel-good factor of mankind. After all, since I was “specially mandated” to abracadabra bad feelings away, I took it as a must-do. Now, who dare say I am not useful? This created a personality that needed to feel special all the time to feel worthy.

On the flipside, when I couldn’t make someone feel better, I made myself a failure and beat myself up for not doing a good job. “Oh, now they would abandon me because I cannot make them happy.” And by Universal Laws, of course that came true. I manifested people leaving me and my self worth took a nose dive as well.

The saving grace came through my consistent pursue of understanding self love. Also, because I had come to realization what self worth really was, part of this limiting belief was crumbling already. I knew I didn’t need acceptance and approval from others to feel worthy or deserve a place in this world.

Recently The Wills helped me bring this over-responsible myth completely down by seeing the whole paradigm of ‘responsibility’ clearly: Everyone is responsible for their creations and people create their emotions for their own healing sake. I know that because my emotions had been the cue to move me into the right direction. So when I help people to take them away, I am disempowering them, taking away what they need to do to heal. After all they are Divine Souls too, so why am I being the She-Ra to save souls? It taught me a great deal about being humble.

This whole thing was a huge relief. Honestly speaking, it’s no fun carrying people’s burden-bags. It’s here that I attracted information about empath ablities (there are very few books out there) and learned how to manage it.

New Belief System: I am responsible to my Self and my growth. It is not my ‘job’ to ease away people’s fear or take away their lessons. They can handle them, because they too are Creators and Masters.

3. Myth: One needs a man to feel complete. To ‘catch him and keep him’, one must prove her worthiness, and do all she can. May the best girl win.

My love life had to be the one area of life that gave me a lot of pain - and it’s got nothing to do with love. It’s all about survival, competition, scheming, seduction and co-dependency. The man was the prize because he was the symbol of love – something I thought I had to earn.

All that time, in the quest for love and acceptance, the overgiver in me had extended herself to please her boyfriend in every way possible, even to the point of compromising her Self. Why? Well, because he mad space for this unworthy ol’ me in his life. Remember, love and worthiness is just so scarce and unattainable! I must do all I can held on to it as tight as I can.

It was my belief that how long he allowed me to stay in his life depended on what I can do for him and how I can make him happy - it was about how useful I was to him. At this point, “I” don’t matter anymore, and “he” is everything. It sounds bad, I know, sort of like a love slave. I have said it before: truths aren’t pretty.

Oh, how distorted my perspectives were! Needless to say, the outcome wasn’t that different either. Four ex-boyfriends, all with the same story. Guy meets girl. Big fireworks. Whirlwind romance. Girl holds on tightly, fear of losing guy. Guy cannot breathe, start distancing. Girl gets fanatical, and demands more commitment. Guy starts drifting away, finds another girl. Girl breaks down because of the drama, anxieties and fears. Girl breaks up first so she won’t be rejected and abandoned. Guy wants girl back. But girl punishes guy emotionally by rejecting and abandoning him totally. Girl goes into her darkest mood for months, holding burning resentment for the guy.

It was the same love story in different book covers. I could see it clearly now. When I overgave, I compromised my Self and the relationship became such a tiring thing. I broke up because I broke down, exhausted from giving too much of my Self. Then when it was over, I wondered – was it because I wasn’t good enough and didn’t do good enough? Was that why he chose another girl instead of me? It was a toxic cycle. And it took me a very long time to recover from it, even when the relationships were very short.

Anyway, the four experiences were all well worth its pain, because all of them pushed me into searching for the Self. Love relationships, as painful and as blissful as they are, provide the best environment to do innerwork – it is really self growth in disguise.

Relationships had been void-fillers for me. I had been seeking for love outside my Self, expecting another to give me a happy ever after. It certainly wasn’t an overnight realization. I was still going back to my old patterns of relating, even after realizing what was going on. After a stormy relationship which ended really badly with a guy who came all the way from Sweden to be with me, I told myself, “enough is enough”. This guy somehow embodied all the issues and destructive traits I was addicted to. He was all my four boyfriends rolled into one. The attraction was massive, and so was the aftermath – I was devasted after the break-up. But most of all, I was angry at myself too. Now I can see that I created this relationship to clear up this area of my life once and for all to make way for soul growth.

The previous new belief system about self worth had certainly helped tear down my old model of romantic relationships. I learn to discern relationships, and I am allowing myself to receive higher relationships. This year I claimed back my power and declared independence. But there is still one thing lingering: I am still afraid to open my heart to having relationships. The previous layer of illusion had been dissolved, but underneath it is still another layer of fear. I know this fear is evolving, and I am dealing with it everyday, calling on the Wills to help me understand the truth better. I am absolutely looking forward to its transmutation. I got some clues recently that the key is through forgiveness – as I know I still hold a lot of resentment for my exes. I am letting that unfold as I am still learning the real meaning of forgiveness.

New Belief System: I am Love. I don’t need it to find it elsewhere. I choose the highest kind of relationships that nurture me and contribute to my soul growth. I choose love-based connections and compassionate interactions.

4. Myth: When one finds that ONE truth, one is wise and worthy. Therefore all unenlightened ones should listen to the Truthfinder. All else are untruths.

When the “I Am” energy started to circulate into my life, the confidence for my truths grew. Having discovered the courage to live my life and speak what I feel is true, it tipped towards the arrogant scale.

I remember there was one friend I kept arguing with on what I thought was the ‘real’ way for spirituality, for work, for everything. Sure, we said something like “we agree to disagree”, but each time we started voicing our different opinions, we’d get into a very heated debate. He’s really a nice person and I could sense he didn’t like getting into intellectual fights because it was going to cost the friendship. At one point we touched on a subject that was really sensitive to both of us, and we found we couldn’t speak to each other for a week. So he’d always give in – but I know it’s not because he agreed. And that made want to win the battle even more, although when there was none.

On the other hand, the arrogant personality also loved to be admired for her views. A total opposite of the friend above, this other friend agreed with each and every of the 101 things I say. It was flattering when he’d bring along a notebook to jot down all the inspiration he’d get by talking to me. Of course I love ‘enlightening’ him with all my newfound truths. The ego loves to be revered for her intelligence. I found it simply great that he enjoyed the things that I recommended! He read the same books, watched the same videos, and attended the same workshops. Everything same-same! And it’s simply wonderful that he would also have the same beliefs about life and living, spirituality, even to things like love, joy and peace….? Wait a minute…something doesn’t feel right… That’s when I realized I was seriously disillusioned by my vanity.

I have actually been struggling with this issue for awhile. When I started the Divine Wills, I got increasingly irritated each time I interacted with this friend. I didn’t know why but I found myself avoiding him and I felt extremely guilty for doing so. He’s done nothing wrong and he’s really a very kind and understanding person. How did I develop such uncomfortable feelings for a friend when I had absolutely loved his company before?

These two experiences with my two friends seemed like two different things at first, but they were really two sides of the same coin. The first one showed me that my truth is my personal truths. It may not be another’s truth. And if others do not agree, I need not reject them, or convince them of what’s right. I was doing a classic case of “my God is better than yours!” This attitude also hindered me over discovering new things because I was limiting myself to expanding knowledge. Truths always evolve.

The other friend showed me that I can get so over my head with bestowing everyone with my truths that I can take away their abilities to find their own truth. In a way, I was unconsciously disempowering him of his own divinity to discover what he needs to know for himself. All the while, it was the ego feeling good for being admired, not because I was doing service.

These experiences humbled me. These days I choose to listen instead of pouring urns of knowledge on people – unless they ask. Even then, I learn to guide them back to look for answers within. I have come to realize that my truths are custom-made to work for me, and they are perfect for my growth, but they might not be so for another person. Part of the growth work is to seek the truth. The truth isn’t the ‘cure’. The process is the healing tool.

New Belief System: All truths are truths. I am right, they are right. Even my truths evolve and do not remain the solid and whole truth. I listen.

Seventh Heaven
As a finale to my Divine Will Series, I would like to touch on the spiritual rewards of working with the Wills. You may certainly experience the Wills differently. To me the seven Wills coming together is a beautiful process, a form of art. I experience the energies flowing, moving and dancing with my inner light to bring the heavenly soul and the earthly self together. The glimpses of heaven in everyday living put in an unspoken meaning to life. These occasions make me realize I am really a spiritual being living a human experience and working to evolve into divinity.

Another profound experience is my reunion with angels and archangels. I have been working closely with them since Day 1 on the Wills. It was an intuitive move – I had no idea they were part of the seven rays! It just felt right to have them with me.

I call on Michael for his protection and guardianship, Gabriel for her creative nudges, Raphael for his healing touch, Chamuel for her tender expressions of love, and towards the seventh one, I got acquainted with Metatron. With Metatron’s energy, my link with the Divine Wills became stronger. I call on him whenever I work with these articles, surrounding myself with his rainbow energy. I call on Gabriel also for the creative flow that I need. Yesterday, I started to work with Raguel on relationships – because it’s the main theme for me this week.

So you see, my spiritual path grows and evolves again and again. There’s something to work with, play with and be with every moment. And since my intention is soul growth, it’s heading that direction. Including the Divine Wills was certainly an excellent guided decision. I thank my guides for this.

All in all, this article is a good way to wrap up this year. Synchronistically speaking, this is also the last article for the last day of the year. I am patting myself on the back now for having come this far. There is a sense of completion and closure in the air today, but above it are traces of anticipation. 2008 is a good year, and I know it to be true. Why? Because I can create it.

Happy New Year to all Divine Will Travelers. May your soul journeys be filled with light and love. And thank you for reading the series until the very last word – your attention had held a space for me to heal and grow.

I Am,
Lily Wong
31st December 2007www.soulstudiohome.com